you’re not an apple

There are certain cliches in the American culture that I can not stand. One is “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree” meaning whatever your parents are like, you are destined to be. And to that, I say nope.

I could not have two different of parents. My biological mom and dad are pretty opposite on every level in how they view and operate in the world. They created two humans, my big brother who is about 3 years older than me, and yours truly. My brother and I grew up in the same houses with the same parents and stepparents and are vastly different from each other.

Parents and cultures do effect a person in massive ways. But they do not predict who they person will be. I am not just a mixture of my parents personalities and genetics. Neither are you.

We are all given the ability to deliberately respond to our childhood and our experiences. A very complex and unique belief system is created in each of our lives from conception on. And that belief system subconsciously guides and motivates us, with its sole purpose of protecting us. We are often unaware of this powerful subconscious guide. The more aware we become, the more we are able to change it and begin to create one that is more reflective of objective reality instead of emotional reactions. While this takes decades to dismantle, we are all capable of doing so.

So, the good news is, you are complex. You are able to take the good and the bad from both your parents and do with each what you would like. You can choose to be like them in ways that are healthy and pick out the unhealthy habits or beliefs they unknowingly or unintentionally passed down to you. You are able to spare your children from what previous generations have passed down.

You are not an apple that just falls down from a tree and is forced to plant in whatever soil is under that tree. You have choices. Lots of them. You can invest in yourself and not follow the path of your parents. You can create your own path from a delicate mixture of both parents and add in your own flavors any way you’d like. Take out whatever you’d like. It’s up to you.

You are not an apple.